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Divine Inner Tension

by Hail The Sun

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1.
Guess that we started right where we left off. Continued alignment with our cause. You called me to make your amends but Your voice was choked up. All these years and we only go forwards And others who try lack the right words. I answered to hear your amends but I just hung up. And I could never slow down Even if I’ll burn out. I wonder if what goes around hits the one who cast the stone. Caught the current we needed in due time. Bulimic with all of the right lines. I’m already one with the skyline And still we climb. And I could never slow down Even if I’ll burn out. I wonder if what goes around hits the one who cast the stone. I didn’t want to be your tunnel vision alibi. Wish you all the best for when you try. I always read the signs. Won’t stay in shallow waters. I cannot relate. Grace always over disdain. Part of me was left for dead and I can’t go that way. So I could never slow down. I would rather burn out. I wonder if what goes around hits the one who cast the stone. I didn’t want to be your tunnel vision alibi. Wish you all the best for when you try. You try.
2.
Mind Rider 03:21
Shroud myself into secret. I only trust me to keep it. The calls I get scream all at once. Switch the phone back to silent. Hope that you’ll never notice. The salt from your tongue sticks to my neck. In the best kind of way - make your move. What’s your move? I’ve entered your veins and I’m carving my way through your thoughts... All at once. When I see you with someone the alarms start to deafen my senses. My cool goes out the door. I know that with gains there are losses. But I just want to evade the process. The thought of your touch drives me insane. In the best kind of way - make your move. What’s your move? I’ve entered your veins and I’m carving my way through your thoughts... All at once. This is the last time. I swear it’s the last time. This can’t be the last time. I swear it’s the last time! In the best kind of way. What's your move? What’s your move? You’re giving up while giving in, too. What’s your move? What’s your move? The pattern enables us. The salt from my tongue sticks to your neck. In the best kind of way - make your move. What’s your move? I’ve entered your veins and I’m carving my way through your thoughts... All at once.
3.
Chunker 04:17
I embody every threat you feel within. ‘Cause if I’m with you then I’m with you ’til the end. But to break that bond means breaking something more. I don’t care about the egos you adore. That’s the way we know we’re not the same. We’re not the same. If I stare at my reflection long enough, I see fire I see friction I see trust. Enemies fueling my thoughts. Taking up space. Why do I have to be so fucking spiteful? If you stare at my reflection long enough, You’ll see a sovereign. You’ll see what you wish you saw. And all my life I’ve been so stubborn in this way. I’d rather see them crash and burn or have to pay. Enemies fueling my thoughts. Taking up space. Why do I have to be so fucking spiteful? And if I suffer they should suffer - that’s what I want. It gets me nowhere and I’m aware it just makes it worse. It just makes it worse. And if you break that bond you’re breaking something more. I don’t care about the egos you adore. And all my life I’ve been so stubborn in this way. I’d rather see them crash and burn or have to pay. Enemies fueling my thoughts. Taking up space. Why do I have to be so fucking spiteful? And if I suffer they should suffer - that’s what I want. It gets me nowhere and I’m aware it just makes it worse. The feeling I get becoming your threat...the sharing of it. If I suffer they should suffer that’s what I want. It gets me nowhere and I’m aware it just makes it worse.
4.
I told myself I shouldn't care about what I do different. Yeah, I could improve if I could just find the motivation but get stuck. 60-minute session blocks - Saying that I’m changing when I’m not. But I always mean well I really do! Only have to justify the truth that I tell. I’ll never change. I am the way I fluctuate. Never the same. Call it the way I cope With how and where I go. I’m still a liar. I still deceive. The one I do it most, though, with is me. I quit the dark shit Years ago. But I’m still addicted to the same ways I know. I’ll never change. I am the way I fluctuate. Never the same. Call it the way I cope With how and where I go. Countless hours spent in repetition. Weighing the pros and cons of my decisions. Countless hours spent on doing only what I want. My heart. I'll never change But I accept my indecision. I’ll never change. I am the way I fluctuate. Never the same. Call it the way I cope With how and where I go. Can’t sit still and never ever want to have to.
5.
Maladapted 03:50
Running out of reasons to tell myself for the things I can’t explain. Dwelling on the moments I keep replaying in the hopes that maybe they’ll change. Far as I can see I’m a puppeteer. Trying to control what I can’t bring near. So I finally stop. Let go of the wheel. The more I give up the better I feel. There’s no turning back. I’ve broken the seal. The motion I can handle. The motion I can handle. Do I care too much to leave it alone? There’s a narrative I always need to know. Maybe it’s that I obsess on figuring out Every person, place or thing I’ve grown to doubt. But I finally stop. Let go of the wheel. The more I give up the better I feel. There’s no turning back. I’ve brokered the deal. The motion I can handle. The motion I can handle. Stop obsessing on what’s not important. And so I give up. I give up. Tap thrice, blink and look right. Side eyed shut the door twice. For this one, and that one, or I will fail. I finally stop. Relinquish the wheel. The better I feel. I finally stop. Let go of the wheel. The more I give up the better I feel. There’s no turning back. I’ve broken the seal. The motion I can handle. The motion I can handle. Once I let it go (I don’t have to fear what I don’t know) I don’t need control.
6.
The universe finds me - Telling me where I need to go. Have you ever had someone you trust betray all of it for their self-righteous reasons? And have you had your murders be told by somebody else? The colors show themselves. Watch out we have a contender. Watch how they think they know. But they really don't. They do as they’re told. Watch me as I go... On the way to the world I’ve created I can choose who is faded and stays. I’ll leave resentment behind. Only trust your inner circle. These core lessons take time. And even if my lovers leave me for somebody else, The story writes itself. Have you ever had to tell of your murders? Watch out we have a contender. Watch how they think they know. But I really do. And if I wanted you, I can have that, too. On the way to the world I’ve created I can choose who is faded and stays. By the way I got love for your passions even when it's clout chasing instead. If you crawl back you can come back. But watch what you say around me. I got love (If you crawl back) where it counts (you can come back). I hope that we all can agree At what cost? What’s the cost? (Dear God - help me practice patience) What's the concept of fate? (Letting go will gift salvation) All the risks that we take (Tell me what it takes to be a martyr of massacre) Only add to the stakes. In the world I have created I'm loved and I'm hated. It keeps it exciting. By the way, I got love for your passions even when it’s clout chasing instead. By the way, be afraid, ‘cause I’ll only stay silent when dead. What’s the cost? What’s the debt? What’s the cost? The piecing together of everything. What’s the cost?
7.
I dreamt I found you hanging. I didn’t know what it meant Your eyes would follow me, though, everywhere I went The pupils were engulfing. They seemed to only grow. But nothing made me tremble like the stories that they told. Swaying back and forth you pointed to my neck. You told me that it was yours and that it would constrict. The window on the 5th floor shattered as you wept. What am I witnessing? What stories have you kept?
8.
A decaying butterfly. Experience I deny. I'm killing a reign tonight. Oh, but no, I allow it. I’m wanting to intervene. These things that lie in between. The now and the time before, Need I say more? I thought I saw me grieving. I thought I saw you dead. And the truth it revealed was a lie instead. I thought I felt you dying. I swore I saw me there. I awoke to the fact that I didn’t care. I can’t stop thinking about it. It keeps on playing in my head. Bless the people who never wake. I thought I saw me grieving. I thought I saw you dead. And the truth it revealed was a lie instead. I thought I felt you dying. I swore I saw me there. I awoke to the fact that I didn’t care. I dreamt I found you hanging. I didn’t know what it meant. Your eyes would follow me, though, everywhere I went. The windows on the 5th floor shattered as you wept. What am I witnessing? What stories have you kept? I thought I saw me grieving. I thought I saw you dead. And the truth it revealed was a lie instead. I felt you dying. I swore I saw me there. I awoke to the fact that I didn’t care. I thought I saw you die. I awoke so aware. I was never there.
9.
Tithe 03:56
When they control the values of the youth Then they can do what they want. Yeah, we all heard the tapes. There’s no excuse for the crimes of the church. Keep it hidden with the children they hurt. Stay protected. Stick together. We cannot let this get out. All our sermons are important, But business comes first. Casket cradle innocence. Scripture for my benefit. I am god. I am gone. What’s the cost? I am god. Separate everything, everyone. What did you see? Or didn’t see? Keep your eyes shut. Fuck the way you mistreat them. Fuck the reason you have a confessional. Fight or flight escape. Fight or flight escape it. Zion is their torture chamber. This always happens. Accusations. We cannot let this get out. All our sermons are important But business comes first. Casket cradle innocence Scripture for my benefit. And if you think the heavens chose you to lead Then you can do nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. I am god. What’s the cost? Separate everything everyone. This always happens and we can’t let it get out!! Flight or fight escape it. Flight or fight escape. Nothing is important as the business. He is one of us.
10.
Feeble Words 02:26
I think I’m growing still. I switch between perspectives. I’m different than I was the moment right before this. And still there’s no doubt I’ll change. It’s hard to communicate. I think I’m growing still. You cried to me before you could speak. There’s a method that never misses. Tell me how you feel but do it with your eyes so I can’t work around those feeble words. Instead I’m forced to feel the same. You’re wearing what you wore the day we reconnected. (And so was I) The way your lips contort is so unique to you. (And always was) What are the odds that we would even exist at all? And as we do we change. The tears are ‘cause I don’t know how I feel... There’s a method that never misses. Tell me how you feel but do it with your eyes so I can’t work around those feeble words. Instead I’m forced to feel the same.
11.
Little Song 04:17
In November you left. Our Temple days would end. But you stayed on my wall. Your perfect smile calls and I stand still. Yeah, I do still. I stand still. Watch the way you walk out. (Shout to me what you want) And the way that I come back. (Shout to me what I’m not): Stable and consistent. But don’t slip away! Love the way that you work. (Adore the way that you are) Love our little song and dance. (And will always be grateful) I could not resist and you felt the same. Sentiment found. Tell me where, meet you there. Sentiment found. Tell me where, meet you there! It’s the best kind of day. The ones we think will stay. Last July on my roof our bond was like the view. Chapters this important show us what means most. Echoes of your presence Fill the Park View house and I stand still. Watch the way you walk out. (Shout to me what you want) And the way that I come back. (Shout to me what I’m not): Stable and consistent. But don’t slip away! Love the way that you work. (Adore the way that you are) Love our little song and dance. (And will always be grateful) I could not resist and you felt the same. pale cascade. Don’t ever change. pale cascade. There’s a lot that you say with just your eyes. There’s a lot that they say and so do mine. There’s a lot you convey with just your eyes. There’s a lot that they say and so do mine! I reflect here today on what was ours. Let these words resonate what I adore. From the first night to now and where we’ve been - Let the joy resonate. I always am.
12.
I see red over white and the view of my last sight disappears. He's calling it fate - I think that it might be mine. Now I’m under the floor. Deja vu at the door. In the space that you crawl they’ll be finding us all. Right here under the floor. Autopsy showing the marks of the chosen. Autopsy showing the marks of what I endured. I tried to escape But I never could read his mind. Red, over white, turn to black in the 8213 house. Now I’m under the floor. Deja vu at the door. See the cuffs in the room? You’ll be joining me soon. Right here under the floor. Autopsy showing the marks of all who were chosen. Autopsy showing the marks of what we all endured. Talked back with tentative tongues to see what could save us. But our bodies were Cemented there. I want to be your God, too. I want to be loved by you. I want to be your God, too. Now I’m under the floor. Deja vu at the door. See the cuffs in the room? You’ll be joining me soon! Right here under the floor. In the space that you crawl you’ll be finding us all. Right here under the floor. I want to be loved by you. I want to be your God, too.

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released August 11, 2023

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